"This isn't my idea for a first year of anything"
An interview with 10th-grader Aidan Weiss about connection in isolation
Aidan Weiss is a sophomore at Piedmont High School in Piedmont, California. In a Zoom call last month, we talked about his new dog Coco, his joining the high school swim team, his self-described Asperger’s Syndrome, and his love of the movie Terminator. We also discussed the dreaded C-word.
Sarah: What was your first year of high school like?
Aidan: I’ve had quite the dream until this happened. I’d had at first a really good year…I even went to Homecoming and had a date. Then there was this word everyone was using, “coronavirus.” I knew what a virus was personally but I didn’t understand what they were talking about. It was hard for me to take it in.
How did your life change with shelter-in-place and distance learning?
I was lonely. I lost any contact with any people I wanted to see. I couldn’t swim at all, even the pool was closed. I feel like this was kind of like a nightmare that I wanted to wake up from. But then I had to endure virtual classes. I worried a lot about my friends.
What was that like for you?
It was like, really heartbreaking inside, and I got worried, as if this meant I was drifting away from them (my friends), and they wouldn’t be known as my friends anymore. I was talking to my mom a lot about getting more social media, because most of my friends were on that all the time and didn’t really bother to talk to me at all. I felt like it would take me to a better life, where I can fit in with everyone. So I got Snapchat and I started talking with all my friends.
I did have a few breakdowns. I had my first breakdown when there was all this pressure on me to finish projects. I didn’t see any friends. I had the feeling that they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I was yelling that I hated my life. This isn’t my idea for a first year of high school. This isn’t my idea for a first year of anything.
So how does it feel now?
A little more connected, although even the Snapchat didn’t make me entirely happy. I’m a social kind of person. To be honest I would kind of prefer this (our Zoom call) being in person. It got more and more devastating after the superintendent of schools announced that this may not end. I did feel like a few times there was no hope. Here’s the thing about this virus. We cant run. We cannot hide from it. We cant even stand up to this thing cause it’s not some kind of human being, it’s a virus.
My depression ended the first time cause I was running one day and I met some of the people that I’d missed.
You literally ran into them?!
Yes. I was very happy to see them, and they were happy to see me too. I did make this announcement to my friends on social media that..I’m currently feeling really sad and lonely and I could really use someone to talk to. People like the girl from Homecoming and people I knew talked to me. It’s not like I wanted attention, it’s just I missed them.
Aidan is also an avid scuba-diver. I’m too embarrassed to tell him I don’t know how to swim.
Will you tell me a little bit about virtual classes?
Sometimes what you see on there doesn’t make much sense. Sometimes I tend to get behind a lot. I was also kind of worried about this particular subject that everyone agrees is really hard, which is Biology. I was struggling to bump my grade up. Even though I look like it sometimes, I’m not a nerd or anything. I did pay attention and all, I just couldn’t really tell what was wrong. Now that it’s summer I’m pretty sure you can guess that I passed the class. I kept studying harder and harder. There were some exams that got cancelled, but it wasn’t the way I was expecting to get out of this.
Do you think having Asperger’s Syndrome makes your experience of all of this any different from others’?
A little. Sometimes I have been a little ashamed of my Asperger’s Syndrome, and it did lead to depression. But I’ve managed to bounce back in accepting that it’s something normal, even though it doesn’t seem like that sometimes. But it is.
If you were in charge right now, what would you be doing differently?
I wouldn’t shut down schools unless that was completely necessary. There was this big debate about whether or not to shut down the Piedmont community pool. If they shut it down it’s gonna be a big “aaaw” for me and the team.
Even the past events you know of today still get on my nerves a lot. Like all the racists, and the death of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. I just know completely that that’s wrong. Sometimes I wonder if the coronavirus would prevent that but it doesn’t. Sometimes I still have this very dark spot for our President today. I kind of grow desperate every day to go back to my normal life. I wouldn’t even call this summer time to be honest, I have another word for it which is “Coronacation.”
What are you gonna do when the virus is gone?
First off, I wanna get out of here! I wanna go find my friends. I wanna take them out for a drink or something. Maybe even out (go) of the country if I have to. I kind of made a bucket list.
Ten years from now how do you think you’ll look back on this time?
I’ll have kids probably. I might draw a graphic novel about what has happened, because whoever I decide to marry might have gone through the same exact thing, so I might draw a book about my life and the virus.
I would read that! Thank you Aidan.
Nothing But The Youth is a series of interviews with real live children about the experience of schooling during a pandemic. If you like it, share it. (And if you know kids who have a unique perspective and like talking to strange adults, holler at me!)